Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24

What do you see when you look in the mirror? Not a physical piece of shiny glass, what about the spiritual and emotional mirror? Who do you see when no one else is watching? What’s hidden beneath the surface that no one else can see and no one else can understand?

Most of us don’t like to look at ourselves in a mirror (or at least we don’t admit it!). We have a vision of what we want to be like, what we want to look like and all too often a mirror doesn’t ‘reflect’ the vision we’d hoped for.

How we see ourselves in our ‘emotional/spiritual’ mirror will affect how we see ourselves in a physical mirror as well as how we react to others, to adversity and even success. Our vision of self drives our emotions, our spiritual lives and our relationships.

King David knew how fickle each of us can be. Our vision is so affected by how we see ourselves that it can change by the day or by the minute. One adverse event can ruin our whole day or even our lives. That’s why David went to the source of all knowledge for an opinion about himself.

‘Search me’, he says and with that request he gives God ‘permission’ so to speak, to shine a light on every corner of his being. That’s scary stuff! None of us would dare ask that of even our closest friends because we’d be afraid of what they’d find. There are feelings, thoughts, attitudes and painful experiences buried deep within each of us. Some we have tried to cover up with toys, with drugs and addictions and with multiple relationships. Some of the pain we suffer from has become so much a part of us that we no longer even remember why we are hurting. The pain has become ‘normal’.

David went to God for the searching because he knew that God would look upon him with eyes of love and compassion. He will do the same for you. When we let God reveal our deepest, darkest secrets, those hidden pains and fears, we take the first step to true freedom. God doesn’t reveal our hidden places to condemn us. He reveals our hidden places to free us.

John tells us, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” (John 3:17) As followers of the Lord Jesus Christ we can be at peace with who we are with all our blemishes, all our bruises and all the ugly scars that we try to hide with emotional make-up. God made you as you are. You are His child. Ask Him to reveal all that you are. Trust Him to do so with compassion, gentleness and love.

PRAYER: Father God. I come to you today with fear. I’m afraid of what you will find in my life if I invite you to search every corner of my being. There are times when I don’t like myself, my past and my present. But I believe you when you say you love me and won’t condemn me. Give me the courage to open every area of my life to you. Remove my feelings of fear, guilt and inadequacy. Forgive me for the harm I’ve caused to myself and others. Free me to live for you through your Spirit. Amen.